Daughters and sons: do we teach them about money in the same way?
A girl may be more willing to manage money while feeling less confident about her ability. A large adolescent study suggests checking not only what we say, but who gets real financial practice.
Parents rarely say aloud, “My son needs investing; my daughter needs thrift.” The difference can be quieter. One child is more often asked to compare plans, configure an app or calculate a large purchase. Another is reminded to be careful and not overspend. Both hear about money, but they practise different roles.
What researchers found among 5,370 adolescents
Steve Agnew and Valerie Sotardi studied responses from pupils aged 11–18 in New Zealand. Participants rated the openness of family money conversations, their confidence and intentions, and their actual experience of banking and budgeting.1
Boys reported greater confidence about banking and were more likely to have experience with a savings account. Girls reported slightly greater financial openness in the family and stronger intentions to engage with banking. The researchers found no gender difference in actual budgeting behaviour.
The authors caution that the coefficients were small, the data were cross-sectional and self-reported, and the sample was mainly affluent. The study does not prove that parents created the differences, and its findings cannot automatically be applied to every country or family.
Still, the combination “more willing to act, less confident” deserves attention. Confidence is not the same as competence: a teenager may overestimate their ability or know enough but still doubt themselves. It is therefore more useful to look at the experience a family provides than at what a child claims.
Review the financial roles at home
Think back over the past three months and note which child you invited to:
- compare prices or subscription terms;
- plan an amount for the week;
- make a supervised payment;
- choose a goal and calculate the timeframe;
- work out why the final price differed from the advertised one.
If one child mostly received tasks about caution while another received tasks about calculation and choice, swap the roles during the next month. Children need not only the same explanations, but decisions of comparable difficulty.
It is also worth reviewing the language of feedback. “Be more careful” teaches risk avoidance but not risk assessment. “Show me the options you compared and the risk you are prepared to take” shifts the discussion from judging character to examining a method.
Do not correct every action in advance. Set an amount limit and safety rules, then leave the choice to the child within those boundaries. Afterwards, ask them to explain their reasoning: which options they saw, what they compared and what they gave up. This evaluates the thinking, not a confident tone.
In PocketPal, children can work with their own goals, balances and tasks inside one family system. If there is more than one child, look not only at the amounts but also at the types of decision entrusted to each of them. Equal financial education is not an identical wallet down to the last penny. It is an equal right to try, make mistakes and work through more complex decisions.